Just say, “NO!”
I’m not kidding! Learning to say no is one of the greatest things I have ever done for myself. In my younger days, as a people-pleaser at heart, I lived under the false impression that saying no was akin to saying, “I don’t care about your needs or desires.” But what it actually says is that something else is more important to you at the time. And being attentive to those more important things is, well, important!
Take for instance the invitation to attend a home sale of ______. You fill it in – Plastic storage containers, wicker baskets, jewelry, kitchen equipment. You know where I’m going. Many, many people have businesses built on the home sale philosophy. You attend a “party” and are served refreshments, many products are on display and demonstrated, and you have the opportunity to purchase said products. They said there would be no pressure – and there isn’t any. Well…there’s no outward pressure. But inwardly, it’s a different story.
There are other attendees in the room who are happily filling out order forms, and that’s a little bit intimidating, but the real pressure is what is inside of YOU. You want to please the host. You want to fit in with what others are doing. You don’t want to look like a cheapskate. After all, the host has taken a lot of time to set up the party and has spent money and effort to feed and entertain YOU. So, the overriding feeling is, “I OWE her!”
It’s this inside pressure that makes these parties so successful. And don’t you want your friend to be successful? Of course you do!
So, just say yes! Attend the party and be sure to buy something even if you don’t find something there that you actually want to own. Right? No – not right!
This may shock you, but it is wise to manage your own priorities well. If you’re not actually interested in the product being sold, or if it’s not in your budget to purchase something at the time, or if your schedule is already bursting at the seams, or if you are an introvert who gets very anxious when having to deal with small talk, the best thing you can do is decline the invitation. It’s all about managing your priorities and self-care.
And here’s the BEST news: you don’t need to make up a pretend prior engagement or say you’re sick. You owe the host or hostess no explanation. Just confidently say, “Thank you for inviting me. I won’t be able to attend, but I hope you have a great turnout!”
Get used to saying something like this. Don’t spend your very limited time doing things that don’t appeal to your own sensitivities. Manage your resources – your time, money, emotions, physical and emotional strength, etc. And don’t make excuses for it.
It doesn’t mean you’re selfish. You just choose when and what to give your energies to. And that’s a great thing – it’s nothing to apologize for.
Try it! I’d love to hear your story about how this works for you!
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